Enlightenment on the Subject of Bella Swan
by Miss H Swan
Summary: What happens while Alice and Bella talk some things over in Sex Education? Things will be revealed and laughs will be shared that's what!


Enlightenment on the Subject of Bella Swan 

When we got into class after our armed guard had left I and Bella sat in our seats next to each other. Mr Torvadold came in as usual exactly five minutes late (we counted once or twice) with a lot of boxes in his arms.

"Alright class, today we will be studying safe sex so could each of you ladies take a box and open it."

I glanced at Bella expecting her to be embarrassed but she looked completely unruffled and was in fact inspecting her painted black nails. We both took a box and listened for the squeals of disgust.

"Sir! We can't do this!" Jessica screamed

"I just want to see if you can put one on; if you make a mistake you have to try again until you can do it." Mr Torvadold ordered, beside me Bella was unwrapping the condom. I followed her example and pretended that I hadn't done it a million times before. I glanced over at Bella when I was rolling it down the plastic penis and saw that she had long since finished. I looked at her in l shock when I had finished.

"Have you and Edward...?" trailed off suggestively

"No, any idiot with two brain cells can do it though." Finally Bella flushed lightly

"Oh now we know how many brain cells Lauren has." I pointed out Lauren who was having enormous difficulty with it, hinting that she had only a single brain cell.

"But we already knew that." Bella giggled, Mr Torvadold came over to see why we weren't doing it

"Why aren't you working, ladies?"

"We've already finished, sir." Bella looked up through her eyelashes in the I'm-so-innocent way she usually reserves for Edward, Emmett and I when she doesn't want to do something or does want to and we won't let her.

"Right then, talk amongst yourselves." Mr Torvadold looked flustered when he left

"You saucy wench." I laughed at his expression

"Hey it got him to leave without asking the big question."

"Good point." We lapsed into comfortable silence for a while until...

"I feel in love, like I want to be all hyper like you." Bella stated

"And that wasn't random _at all_."

"It's how I feel, I'm going to the history boffin club tonight."

"Guess I'm hanging with Rose then while you and Jasper have your little sibling bonding thing." I fake sighed heavily.

"You could always stay and learn history."

"No thanks, I'll do my fashionaholic thing and you two can do whatever you do in the history boffin club."

"It's quite fun actually, by the way. How was your first time?" Bella spoke just loud enough for only me to hear

"Why do you want to know? Has Edward tried to pressure you into it?" I frowned lightly

"_Edward if you have been pressuring Bella for sex I _will_ kill you personally."_ I thought to Edward

"No, it's just I want to be prepared if it comes to that." Bella answered

"Well... it was painful at first when I broke but it wore off pretty quickly, an almost pain free experience. But you might already be broken because tampons break you so it might be completely pain free. Edward'll be gentle anyway, he'd never hurt you on purpose or by accident nor let anyone else hurt you either; you saw how he was with Lauren." I soothed Bella

"I don't think I'd ever do number nine, we've already done up to number eight." Bella confessed with a pert smile on the corner of her mouth

"When did that happen?" I raised my voice slightly in shock and most of the class turned to face us

"Well number eight was last time I stayed over, number seven was in the meadow, number six was three months into the relationship, number five was two months in, number four was one month in, number three was three weeks in, number two was a week in and number one was two and a half weeks in." Bella counted off her hands unaware that most of the class were listening in and all knew the snogging scale.

"God he's a prude, you've loosened him up though." I winked in a fake innocent fashion

"It's not like I'm unsullied."

"You're too virtuous, like the patron saint of virginity."

"I thank you." Bella mock bowed and placed a hand to the bottom left of her torso, a little above her hip bone. The class had turned back around by then.

"What's wrong?" I asked in concern before Bella removed her hand and replaced it a minute later

"I can feel eggs being released, it's quite painful actually."

"Oh it's your most fertile time at the moment." I pointed out

"I know."

"God, it's well scary to think that at this very moment you're body is producing mini-me's of you." I thought about it and shook my head to lose the thought

"Ugh, don't remind me, I always think that but I can usually drag my mind away from it." Bella laid her head on her arms and I spotted Lauren staring down Bella's blouse. I nudged Bella and nodded towards Lauren, when she saw her watching, Bella automatically sat up but then changed her mind and opened another button at the top of her blouse and leant down again.

"You're playing with fire and honey, you're gonna get burnt." I warned

"But I'm a masochist so it'll feel good while it happens." The pert smile appeared again as she reasoned with me.

"You're so much like Edward it scares me."

"You mean a female, less good looking, shorter, stupider version, then yes."

"You are no less good looking or stupider than him, it's just your memory isn't as good and you don't have the predator looks."

"True, thanks for that." Bella smiled at me and leant up; she took her book out of her bag and began to read it until the end of class whilst I read a fashion magazine. When the bell rang, Bella was shocked out of her reverie.

"Anything interesting going on in there?" I asked as we packed up

"Yeah, Emily's pregnant, Brett has left her alone and pregnant for his ex and Corey is being extremely nice. Oh and Emily's parents think she's joking and her grandma knows she's telling the truth." Bella also packed up and glanced out of the door and into the corridor where Emmett was waving at us like a madman and scaring the rest of the student body in the process. She giggled and looked down. I was stunned, she'd never giggled before.

"What has got into you? You never giggle." I asked when we were walking out of the classroom.

"I told you, I'm in a good mood today." Bella smiled and linked arms with me when we met Emmett.

"Hello my dear sisters." Emmett grinned down at us

"Hey Em, how was first period?" Bella looked up at his face

"As good as can be, how was yours?"

"Wonderful." We were on our way to English Literature to drop Bella off with Angela Weber. Mike Newton walked past and wolf-whistled at Bella, I heard Emmett growl under his breath. Bella's face pinkened with embarrassment. I saw Edward's hair in the crowd, and Jasper's too; I suddenly realized that it was probably all three of them growling at Mike's comment. We were almost at the door. Bella hugged me and whispered in my ear:

"I love you, sister." And did the same to Emmett but with brother instead of sister before entering the classroom. That was the last time I saw her until lunchtime.


End file.
